It can't be all bad, now can it?
On Friday, the home office requested that I work from them full time, not just on my days off the plant site. My Project Manager has only agreed to hand me over an extra day a week. The home office is only 5 minutes away from my house. I could get frustrated, but what will that prove? I don't want to overplay my hand.
Did you know I love Prince? I do. His symbol is tattooed on my foot and his songs play on my life's soundtrack...at least the dirty soundtrack. He's doing 6 shows in my area. I will be there or nowhere on March 26th with my Soul Sister, Carla. We're going to make a whole weekend of it. I'm very excited.
For the most part, I feel I am where I am supposed to be. It's not necessarily as wonderful or as exciting as I would like but who's fault is that? Our lives are by design and if something isn't working, I only have myself to blame.
To the Universe I shout about longing for The Professor but what I need and what I want are often two different things. Can he give me what I truly seek? Probably not. Is it worth the wait and work and effort? Probably not. I have to start looking at the relationship realistically. I have to look at it AS IS instead of WHAT IF. It's hardly worth my time. I know that. You know that. My heart is bound to catch up with popular opinion.
My Sweet Daughter decided to call me back. I only had to call about a half a dozen times. It was awkward and that's okay. She's at that age where she's more concerned with her needs than actually loving her Momma.
Isn't there a trend here? I seem to be doing all the giving and none of the receiving in most of my relationships. Has that become a comfortable thing for me? Surely I designed it that way. Only, I'm beginning to want more out of my relationships, my job, my everything.
I am going to open my heart and mind to accepting what people offer. I am going to say "Thank You" instead of "Oh No.." or "Are you sure???"
I need love and time and tenderness.
A little love and time and tenderness a little at a time.
I think you have been living in my heart for my whole life. You speak so perfectly about what lies in its deepest parts.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you haven't actually been hiding in there all this time, unfortunately stuck with feeling everything it has felt, you're certainly there now, and I suspect you will always be, but in a gentle place where I want to keep you safe from feeling any more of that awfulness.