Try A Little Tenderness

I always feel strung out after a weekend with Jess. 
She decided to live with her Dad for high school and I'm still adjusting to her absence.  It's left a hole that I will probably never fill except when she's with me like this weekend.  In those moments, I try to give her experiences that light up her face and empty my wallet.  I can't seem to help myself.
This weekend we shopped for a formal gown for a military ball.  We settled on a long black and white affair with intricate embroidery and jewels.  We found a pair of heels that seemed to have been made with her dress in mind as well as jewelry to complete the look.  She looked stunning.  She absolutely took my breath away.  She is what love looks like.
Saturday night we went out for sushi and a movie.  She chose Beastly which was cute if predictable that she said, "made her soul swell with warmth".  Sunday we left Greenville early so that we could go to Nanna's.  Jess' dress needed a few alterations.  I got the chance to see my Dad and Stepmom before seeing Nanna.  I just didn't feel any kind of connection to my family or where I grew up.  I felt terribly out of place.  The whole scene was drab; lacking any sort of color at all.  I couldn't leave quick enough.
Adam had penned all of his love hopes on a date and when it didn't go well, he was not much fun to come home to.  He began talking of moving again and I quickly shot down any places he mentioned.  Moving away is not the answer for me or for him.  If he chooses to go, I'll just a find a place of my own.  For once, I want destiny to be able to find me.  I feel I've been running from it for most of my life.
I lost five pounds last week despite blowing out my knee doing jumping jacks.  I hope to lose five more this week. 
There are things I can't seem to change but I'll change all the things I can.