Maybe it's just spring, but I feel change in the air.
Sometimes I catch little glitches in time like the cigarette burns in old film. I always welcome change. My adaptability to change has always been great. I hope that it will herald new opportunities and friends but light or dark, I'm prepared. I keep my head held high and I don't look down. There's nothing down there anyway.
I found Dylan songs in my head yesterday. That man speaks to me like no other and I'm not so blind as to the similarities between Dylan and The Professor. Perhaps The Professor is merely a manifestation of Dylan in my life. The Professor looks much the way Dylan looked in 1976. They were born with the same initials and are both of Russian Jewish decent. They are deep thinkers and enjoy travel for travel's sake. I read an article concerning a girlfriend of Dylan's. The article said that during their 5 year relationship, she only visited his home once and she was not allowed to sleep in his bed. When she pressed the issue of living together, Dylan said, "I can hardly live with myself."
I've slept in Robert's bed but he is cut of that same cloth. I don't know if he's afraid of being close to someone or if he just doesn't know how. When I was little my Nanna always had cats. In spring, kittens were born. They were wild, untamed little fur balls and I would sit patiently nearby until I was familiar, just waiting for a chance to hold them. It sometimes feels like the same thing.
After a week away from the gym, I returned and it was grueling. My knee doesn't feel fully recovered but I'm hopeful. A coworker is having a knee replacement and he remarked that his knee woes began in quite the same way. I wonder if there is anything I can do to strengthen it and never have to worry over having to have surgery on it someday. I'm trying hard to lose weight and feel stronger. I am careful of what I eat and the exercise helps me burn away anxieties.
I am not exactly where I want to be, but I feel I could be close.
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