Did I tell you that I have a new lap top?
Well, I do and I love it except I"m still getting used to the keyboard.  On Saturday I wrote a monster blog only to lose it with a swipe of a key and was totally unaware of it.  I gave up but only momentarily.
I am here on the balcony..where I do a great deal of chatting, dreaming, thinking alone and with others.  I have a spectacular view of the sky and this is where I first fell in love with this town.  I sensed great things here and I haven't been proven wrong.  There have been hard lessons too but I can take those on.
I am grateful to Adam for inviting me to take this place on with him but I will be moving on soon.  The reasons are two fold.  I feel that I need my own space and I no longer respect or trust Adam.  He's fallen into a terrible blanket of vanity...one that likes to appear rich and handsome when in truth, he's just stealing from others including me.  I refuse to pay bills but go without because that money is being used for my roommate's extravagances.  I won't come home to eviction notices only to learn I"ve been paying the lion's share when I have the smaller bedroom and bathroom.  I won't live with someone who borrows money from me above and beyond what I pay in living expenses and who never bothers to pay me back but doesn't hide his new purchases.
Oh, the discontent.  I can barely stand to be in the same room with him.  I've expressed my feelings sure, but the feelings haven't changed nor will they because while disguised, the behavior hasn't changed.  He believes he is not at fault and I will continue to feel cheated.  I just don't bother to say anything else.  I tuck away the cash, look at new places and plan.
I look forward to a space completely my own.  I look forward to decorating and the new energy that bounds from living without resentments within my home. It's been a very long time since I"ve lived alone and that's exciting and scary all at once but I'm ready.
Work is very busy.  I've secured a position in the accounting department at the end of June.  They need me as an administrator until then.  I am trying to find joy in the here and now but it's hard not to jump forward.